Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Little Mixer That No Longer Can

The other day CK was going through some photos on his camera. "I found a picture of your mixer," he told me over the phone. It made me want to cry all over again.

The mixer, a gorgeous Kitchen Aid was an early Christmas gift from Quantum in 2009, the year before we moved to Colorado. He has a habit of knowing exactly what kind of gift I want more than anything. It's simple really. Give me tools. Especially kitchen tools or tools that support my art habit.

The year Quantum bought me a sewing machine, my sister in law mocked my birthday present. "A sewing machine? Not diamonds? So you can...what? Mend his clothes?" Truth is, I'd rather have the sewing machine. And the mixer. The other, most wonderful gift was a professional grade Casio keyboard. Another hat tip to my art habit and my desire to re-learn the piano after a long absence from that. (Dad had decided that burning our family piano was preferable to paying a few hundred dollars to re-tune it. Or letting us just keep it till we could afford to have it tuned. Don't ask me how he worked that out in his mixed up brain. I came home from school, and it was already chopped in small pieces. Yes I cried.)

So the mixer was AMAZING. I got it grinding mill attachments, and ice cream maker and sausage stuffing attachments. I really wanted the pasta maker but there was no way we could afford that. Heck, there was no way we could even afford the mixer. That was my first complaint when Quantum brought it home in October, a year before it would melt in the fire. "We can't afford this, honey." "But you need it. You know you want it."

Gods did I ever want it. It was sleek and beautiful and as I adored baking bread, it made that so much easier. Kneading bread takes a heck of a lot of time and physical energy. Suddenly that fabulous machine made kneading the dough so easy that I was making my own homemade bread 3 or 4 times a week instead of perhaps once a month.

Diamonds? Seriously? Why, when I could have the "diamond" of kitchen tools? And seriously the tool that said , "I understand your foodie soul."

Really if I could rewrte the traditional aniversary gifts, every one of them would be some amazing tool for the kitchen. Of course I'm just weird like thet.

My first experiment with the ice cream attachment was Chicken Liver Ice Cream made for our puppy Zen's first birthday. Okay it wasn't much of a success with the humans. I could still tweak that recipe and maybe make it workable, but the dogs, including Zen and his best dog-buddy Crab absolutely loved it.

Other than my writing (which can't be replaced) the one item I've really been heartbroken over since the fire has been my mixer. Right now I'm just trying to figure out how to pay our mortgage back in CO. Buying a new mixer is right now out of the question, So when CK sent me pics of my beloved mixer...oh damn it hurts. Not because of the money, not because I'll have to wait to get a new one, but because of how wonderful it was to have fresh bread and sausage and ice cream on the table. And because of the absolute love and understanding that helped Quantum find the most perfect gift for me.

When CK sent me the pic, I couldn't even recognize the parts from the clip of our burned down home. He had to point them out to me. (Which is funny since I spent the last few years walking past those burned parts and mourning over them. The base. Some toothy ring gear and some mushroom-like gear.

With the mortgage need ing paying and trying to help Quantum's Alzheimer's mom, it may be years before I replace my beautiful mixer. Eventually I will.